Home Group Leaders Manual

2022 - 2023

 

Introduction to Home Groups

Small groups were strategically important in the life of the Early Church. And in every church ever since…  because Church is made up of people, and God’s way of sustaining people is through one another. 

From its origin in Acts 2, the Church began in homes. 

  • The new Christians in Jerusalem had fellowship together both in the public gatherings at the Temple, and in the private settings of the homes, where they had meals together with glad and generous hearts, and devoted themselves to the Apostle’s teaching, and the Fellowship, the Breaking of bread and the prayers (Acts 2.42-47).

  • In Acts 5.42 they are using their homes for the teaching and preaching the Good News about Jesus the Messiah.

  • In Acts 12.12, the home of Mary, the mother of John Mark, is used to host a prayer meeting for the release of Peter from prison.

  • At Troas, Paul was teaching disciples after dinner in someone’s house when Eutychus fell asleep and toppled out of the window (Acts 20)!

  • Priscilla and Aquila made their home a base for the church in Ephesus and Rome (I Cor.16.19, Rom 16.3-5).

  • Philemon gave hospitality to a group of Christians in Colossae (Philemon v2).

In fact, for the first two hundred years, when the church spread rapidly throughout the Mediterranean world into Europe, Africa and Asia, it was entirely a home-based movement There were no special church buildings constructed for Christian worship until the end of the 2nd century!

And still today, home groups are seen as a crucial part of the life of the church and we at HT want to invest in these groups and see them flourish.  

Howard Snyder says in his book ‘The problem of Wineskins’:

“A small group of 8-12 people meeting together informally in people’s homes is the most effective structure for the communication of the Gospel in modern society…(it) offers the best hope for renewal within the Church” 


The Role of a Home Group Leader

“Never underestimate the power of a small group of committed people to change the world. In fact, it is the only thing that ever has.” ~ Margaret Mead

The Vision

For home groups to be places that reveal the person of Jesus and help people discover his calling for their lives; to be a community that is genuine, where people know they are loved and long to reveal that love to others; and to be places of equipping in all that the Bible has to teach.

The Aim

That anyone who feels HT is their spiritual home should know there is a home group for them

  1. That people get connected quickly to the right home group

  2. That home groups are places that people want to be part of

  3. That lives are changed by the transforming power of the gospel

  4. That groups will be willing to grow and multiply into more home groups


What are Key Responsibilities
of a Home Group leader?

Growing the Church

To gather as a group of 10-15 people once a week for fellowship, worship, teaching and prayer

  1. To facilitate the planning and preparation of the teaching and worship each week, making sure it is focused on the Bible and has a practical application to our lives today

  2. To help members to discover their spiritual gifts and ask for more of God’s gifts for his people

  3. To identify and train new leaders through giving opportunities to serve and lead parts of the home group

  4. To want to grow and welcome new people to the group and be willing to divide into two groups when needed

Pastoral Care

  • To take care of your own spiritual life: keeping close to Christ, living in obedience to God’s word and being filled with God’s Spirit

  • Attending leaders’ training evenings 3 times a year

  • To be pastorally responsible for the members of your group, helping each person to grow in their relationship with Jesus

  • To be praying for the members of your group during the week

  • To commit to prayer ministry training and being available to pray for people at the end of church services

Enabling Community

  1. To demonstrate hospitality through the provision of food and social times. It is important that these groups are places that are enjoyable to be part of and that are full of laughter

  2. To encourage members to serve in the life of the church

  3. To be a regular attendee at church on a Sunday.


How do people join a Home Group?

We want everyone who calls HT their church to be able to find a Home Group that will help them flourish. How this is done at HT is:

  • Welcome
    New members are asked to join one of our welcome events before they join a Home Group. These events include lunches and evening sessions which happen every 6 weeks or so and are advertised on Sundays and on our website. These times are an opportunity to get to know each other and hear about the vision and values of the church

  • Ask
    When a new member has attended a welcome event, they are then asked if they would like to join and Home Group. If they are, then they will be allocated to a group that best suits them and the leaders of that group. We ask newcomers to complete a questionnaire which helps us allocate them to a suitable home group

  • Invite
    If a home group leader meets someone at church who they think would benefit from joining their group, they can invite them to come along. However, if they were new to HT, they would need to attend a Welcome Event before joining the group. The home group leader should also let the adult team know if the person became a regular member of home group. Once joined, there needs to be no pressure for them to stay, but if they do, the home group leader should contact HT office confirming their involvement


How are Home Group Leaders Supported?

We want to make sure that Leaders are well supported in this vital ministry, to avoid overload and burnout, and to allow God to refresh you and re-energize your ministry.

Pastorally
We want the Home Group leaders (and other mature members of the group) to be offering the first level of pastoral care and nurture for church members, but we are well aware that pastoral situations may arise that are very complex.  You can contact the adult team who are available to support you when you feel out of your depth!

Practically
We provide training evenings for those new to leading which gives practical ways to run a Home Group.  We also ask all leaders to attend training nights 3 times a year.  These times are important for us as leaders to continue to grow in our leadership ability as we learn from one another.

We offer teaching material for Home Groups on the HT website via the Home Group page that you can download and use in your group. We don’t want to be too prescriptive with what your home group studies each week, though we appreciate that it is often helpful to have some direction in this area. 

Prayerfully
You will be supported by members of your home group and by the church leadership team. We will be praying for wisdom, love and strength from God’s Spirit so that you can serve those entrusted to your care.

What you are & are not Responsible for

You are responsible:

To love one another (Jn 13:34)

  • To be devoted to one another in love (Rom 12:10)

  • To live in harmony with one another (Romans 12:16)

  • To serve one another humbly in love (Galatians 5:13)

  • To bear with each others and forgive one another (Colossians 3:13)

You are not responsible:

  • To make people happy

  • To fix people’s problems

  • For the way a person in your Home Group responds or behaves


Your ultimate goal in caring for your Home Group is to bring them to Christ-likeness (Romans 8:29). It is not to heal them. Healing may be part of their journey to Christ-likeness and you may have distinct healing gifts, but that is not your main aim. 

You are not responsible for seeing anyone in your Home Group for extended pastoral care if you feel that the nature of their problem or condition exceeds your capabilities.

Boundaries

In electing to meet people outside normal Home Group time in order to give them pastoral support, you need to be vigilant about your boundaries and aim to set healthy boundaries for yourself. If someone is becoming overly needy or dependent on you, that is almost certainly a sign that you should refer them to the Adult Team. 

Galatians 6:1-5 counsels that our role as Christians is to ‘carry each other’s burdens’ but that ‘each one should carry their own load’. That is, we are to come alongside someone in their suffering and support them emotionally. We can do this by listening to, encouraging, and praying with, people who are in pain or experiencing hardship. However, each person that we support in this way is ultimately responsible for carrying his or her own load. 

When we take responsibility for another’s problems, we do it at the expense of their self-respect, self-esteem and own sense of responsibility. 

It is wise to monitor your sense of boundaries and to discuss this area from time to time with the Adult Team. Please contact us at any time if you feel overwhelmed in providing pastoral support, particularly in relation to needy individuals.


Ingredients That Make a Great Home Group

A Warm Welcome

We need to remember that some of our members are taking the proverbial "leap of faith" simply by attending the meeting. Our initial response to their arrival is important. Put their fears to rest by answering the door with a smile. Introduce yourself right away and help them feel welcome. Then take the time to introduce them to others in the small group. Even these simple tactics let newcomers know we are engaged with them and want to get to know them.

Food 

All Home Group meetings should offer a snack and drink, or even dinner. There is natural bonding that occurs over food. The casual conversation that occurs breaks down fears for the newcomer. It also enhances relationships that are currently in place, allowing members to talk about general life stuff. Whether or not there are new members, a simple snack and drink can allow for great discussion and opportunities to get to know one another.

Start Strong

Once people have had the opportunity to mingle, mobilize the group and begin the discussion time. Start with something that will connect group members to the main idea of the teaching—like a simple icebreaker question or activity. This component is essential and can be fun.

If not a game, throw out a question that will spark discussion related to the teaching. And always strive for icebreaker questions that encourage members to share personal experiences. Here are some ideas: 

  • Tell the story behind your worst physical scar.

  • If you could go back to any age, which would you choose and why?

  • If you could be any Disney character, which would you choose and why?

These questions may seem silly, but they connect members to the topic and to one another. These questions can also help you know where your members are spiritually and personally.

The Lift

While everything has been fun and easy-going during the food and icebreakers, remember the necessity of lifting up one another in prayer. Beginning and ending the small-group time with prayer invites God's presence and truth to be evident. 

David's words in Psalm 5:3 perfectly state what we desire for our small groups: "In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly." When we show the value of prayer within our group, we allow members to know they are valued not only by us but also by God. 


Connect the Dots

You want to know your members have "connected the dots" and are able to apply the teaching. Use application questions to do this. For instance, if your teaching is on forgiveness, ask members questions like: 

  • When have you struggled with forgiveness?

  • How has not forgiving someone affected you?

  • How can you apply what you've learned about forgiveness today to a current situation?

You can also use scales to help group members evaluate themselves. Here is an example:

 

After group members rate themselves, have them elaborate on why they rated themselves as they did and then talk about any improvements or changes they'd like to make.

Application questions allow members to apply the information learned to their current life situations. Hearing their answers allows you to know how to communicate God's truth to them and how to pray for them.

 
 

Hold On Loosely

Another key to helping your home group be effective is flexibility and vulnerability. To reach and touch others, we must be willing to be flexible and vulnerable.

You may have produced some amazing teaching for the evening, but it is important to put the needs of your group ahead of your needs to do what you’ve planned.  If you find some members of the group opening up in a way that you think is important, for them and the group, then you don’t need to rush them so to carry on with your program, instead encourage it.

As leaders we need to be flexible with the schedule, and even share your own vulnerability about your own struggles. This might not come naturally to you, going off script can feel scary, but done at the right time you could make major strides in helping members of the group open up. It shows people that you care about their needs and want to help them through this season in their life.

Save The Date

For many of those in Home Groups, their leader is a key person in keeping them informed with what is going on at the church. Therefore, having a time at the end of each meeting to go over future events is a good way of keeping people plugged into the wider activities of the church.

As there are many things going on in the church you don’t want to overload people with notices.  However, there will be some events, such as ‘Family Gatherings’, ‘Prayer Gatherings’’ or ‘Equipped for Life’ evenings that would benefit from being communicated to the whole group.  These events often depend on the group leader communicating them early enough for people to plan for, speaking positively about them and most importantly, going themselves.

There will also be some activities that will only be appropriate to certain individuals in your group.   You may identify those who would benefit from Prayer Ministry Training or New Home Group Leaders Training. If so, please advise someone in the Adult Team who will be able to move this forward

Final Thought

If you become a home group leader, this outline will help you design your group to be the most effective and influential it can be. Then, take into account your group members and their needs as you plan the specifics for your meeting. But don't forget to remain flexible. Prepare ahead of time and remain open for the Spirit's direction.


How to Prepare Well

I know a few leaders who can somehow do little to no preparation for a talk or Bible Study and can manage to blag it with apparent surprising success.  It’s easy to think they are the extra spiritual ones, gifted with the words of God and this must be something I should seek after.  But don’t be fooled.  You may be able to blag an evening, it might even be a success, but in the long run you will only attract those who are lazy, too easily satisfied and will go on to be half-hearted leaders themselves.

How we prepare for our groups show people how much we value them and the role we’ve been given.  

The Bible is filled with verses like Proverbs 21:5: "The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty."

The best small-group leaders prepare and plan for small-group meetings. The prepared leader has more confidence and a better chance of successfully leading the small group. 


Share the load

It is important to share out some of the responsibilities of your Home Group. This may include:

  • the host (Runs the evening)

  • the person who leads worship (Doesn’t have to be music)

  • or the person who creates the snack/food schedule (Get everyone involved)

  • the person who leads the Bible Study

Jesus had a core team of three from among the Twelve, and he often assigned responsibilities to them and shared more intimate details about his ministry with them. 

If it is important for Jesus, then we should follow his lead.

Remember, a key home group purpose is involvement. Delegating tasks will not only share the load but will also help identify potential new leaders.

Prepare the Message

I think leaders should talk no more than 30% of the time.  This means that 70% of the time is left open for other home group members to speak. Your main role is facilitating discussion, not teaching. Great leaders excel at facilitation. To get others to talk, however, requires preparation and planning.

There are plenty of resources available, so you don’t need to start from scratch, and I have made some available on the HT website.  However, even with pre-prepared teaching, you need to prepare how you deliver the message to your group.


Context of passage:
Although the lesson will mostly revolve around good discussion questions, the members must understand the general context of the Bible passage in order to answer the questions. I recommend initiating the study by explaining the general context and meaning of the Bible passage. You can also use closed observation questions.

Study:
Depending on what you’re teaching on, make sure you spend some time digging into the Scripture or topics you're discussing prior to your meeting. Have an idea of what you want to cover, what questions may arise, and where HT stands on key topics, ie – Relationships, Spiritual gifts, judgment…

Needs of the group:
The purpose of group questions is to help people learn and apply the teaching.  So, it is important to work out how to form your questions, so they fit to the needs of the group.

Don’t ask too many questions:
Allow space for good discussion without the pressure to move to the next question.

Set the Atmosphere

Many small groups meet in the home of the leader. Others designate a host who is not the home group leader. Still others choose to rotate among group members, so that more people can serve as hosts. Regardless of where you're meeting, it's important to prepare the atmosphere. If the meeting is in someone else's home, this might mean that you will need to talk with the host in advance.

Seating
Arrange the seating so each person can see every other person in the group. A circle is the best choice. As the leader, place your chair on the same level as the rest of those in the group—neither as the focal point nor in the background. If your home is spacious, move the chairs into a close circle, thus occupying only a portion of the room. When people are spread far apart, it's harder to openly share thoughts and feelings.

Some people feel intimidated about opening their homes because they're not as large or luxurious as those of other church members. Don't listen to this argument. Actually, a small apartment or home generates warmth and closeness and reminds the group that they eventually will need to multiply.

Refreshments

Refreshment time isn't something simply tacked onto small-group ministry; it's a vital part. The refreshment time is often the best moment to ask personal questions, get to know one another on a deeper level, or set a fun and relaxed mood.

If the host is always providing the refreshments, ask the host if it's becoming a burden and whether it would be good to find someone else to provide refreshments. Alternatively, you could assign someone on your planning team to take care of the refreshment schedule. This gets other group members involved, and they begin to feel more ownership for the group.

Distractions

Turn off telephone ringers, put pets in another room or outside.  Turn off TV sets, radios, and computers during a meeting. Don't let distractions get in the way of community. Make sure each member can concentrate on the other people present.

Time 

If someone other than yourself is hosting the group, arrive 10 minutes early to make sure everything is ready to start. If you begin on time regardless of latecomers, you're sending the signal that every part of the meeting is important. 

Additionally, make sure you close on time. Small group meetings should be no more than two hours long. Members have a lot of responsibilities, and they might think twice about attending the next week if the meeting goes on too long.

Other Details

  • Make sure the toilet is clean before the group begins. Is there toilet paper, soap, a towel?

  • The temperature in the home increases as more people pack into a room. Members can become agitated and uncomfortable if there is a lack of fresh, cool air. Be sensitive to the needs of those in the room.

  • The lighting should be bright enough for everyone to read, but low enough to feel cosy. If it's too dark, people will have a harder time following along in their Bibles or on handouts. They may also fall asleep!

Connect with God

Take the time to prepare your heart before God, asking him to fill you with the Spirit. Many unexpected things can happen in the course of a normal small group. You will need to hear God's voice and follow his direction. In order to hear his voice, you'll need to spend regular time with him. We read in Luke 5:16 that Jesus made it a priority to spend time alone with his Father: "Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." If Jesus prioritized time with the Father, so should we.

As you are filled with the Spirit and guided by him, you will increase your effectiveness as a small-group leader, and others will be impacted by Christ's life in you. They will leave the group transformed, ready to practice what they've learned during the week and excited about coming back next week. 

Tips for Facilitating Group Discussion


For many small-group leaders, one of the more intimidating things we do is facilitating a group discussion. Very few of us feel like we'll have all the right answers, or that we can handle every curveball thrown our way. To make matters worse, it's challenging to gauge whether we're doing a good job.

But here's the good news: that's not what facilitating a group discussion is really about. We don't have to have all the right answers. We don't have to lead the perfect discussion every time. We don't even have to get through all of the material in each meeting.

When we're facilitating in our small group, our main goal is to create discussion. We want to challenge people to think about the topic at hand, and to create a safe environment for people to share their thoughts—to help everyone feel valued about the input they've offered.

That's all we've got to do.


Asking Good Questions

One of the most important skills in small-group facilitation is asking the right questions, not having all the right answers. Here are a few secrets to asking good questions:

Ask open-ended questions

Avoid the yes/no, true/false, multiple-choice questions—"Is Jesus the sheep or the shepherd in this parable?" Similarly, avoid questions that let people off the hook with a simple Sunday-school answer—"Why did Jesus die on the cross?" You want to ask questions that require people to share some actual thoughts and feelings. A good example is asking about experiences: "When have you experienced mercy?" You might also ask, "What does it look like to care for orphans in the 21st century?" Open-ended questions invite group members to think critically, consider their feelings, and answer in multiple ways.

Ask follow-up questions

Many people default to staying pretty surface-level with their answers, so get in the habit of not letting them off the hook. Ask more questions that follow up on their response. Here are some examples of good follow-up questions for the short/simple answers that people often give:

  • What makes you say that?

  • How do you feel about that?

  • How do you think that would've affected you if you had been living in the time of Jesus?

  • How would you explain your answer to a non-Christian friend or neighbour?

Initiate a discussion

I come from a family that often likes to take the opposing side in discussion just so to make the conversation a bit more interesting.  We can do this in Home Groups because the point of actually discussing things is to get different perspectives and wrestle with the issues, not just to agree with each other.

Here are some examples of questions that can help create discussion by playing "devil's advocate":

  • Do you agree with what the author is saying in that chapter? Why or why not?

  • Why did God design it to work that way? Why not just do [whatever else] instead?

  • What would you say to someone who disagrees with that?

  • Why do we really have to do it like that? Why can't we just go [some other route] instead?

Make sure the rubber hits the road

There is no point just having more head knowledge, we need to apply what we're discussing to our lives. Otherwise we just leave the meeting a little smarter, rather than with changed lives. So, whatever it is you're discussing, make sure to end with some application questions.

Here are some examples:

  • So what in the world does that have to do with our lives today?

  • How has our discussion changed your perspective regarding this issue?

  • What one thing can you do differently in this next week to start living this out? (Some groups will add accountability to this question—recording what members share and asking them to report back the next week.)

Creating a Safe Environment

Trust makes your small group a place where genuine community can form. Group members need to be able to trust that the group is a safe place—a place where they can get real and know that they will not be judged, gossiped about, and so on.

There are several important factors. Make it clear to the group the ground rules meeting, such as:

  • Being respectful to those in the group who hold different views

  • Not discussing what people share outside the group

  • Being kind with our words

  • Listening to one another…

Make this clear every single time a new person shows up to group. And as the leader, model this safety and confidentiality yourself.

When people share in the group—no matter how much you may disagree, or how theologically incorrect they may be—make sure they feel affirmed about their answer in the moment. Thank them for sharing. Later, and outside the group meeting, you can (and often should) talk to them about their comments, but it should be done one-on-one. Let them know you appreciate that they share in the group, and that you want to talk further about a particular comment they made. It can be helpful to ask for clarification on what they said and to ask why they believe it. This can both clear up any occurrences of simply misspeaking and also allow for an opportunity for them to realize their fault on their own. If they still hold on to the incorrect belief, you can lovingly point out the truth to them.

Also, avoid giving unrequested advice within the group—"Well if I were you, I'd just do this." That is one of the quickest ways to shut someone down from sharing. When you hear other group members start to do this, gently remind them by saying, "This is a safe group, and we're here to listen, not to give advice."


Handling the Challenging People

The hard part of home groups is that they involve people and dealing with people is always messy. One of my favourite book titles has always been the one I find most true: Everybody's Normal Until You Get to Know Them. That includes me!

Here are some of the common "challenging people" that you may encounter, and some tips on approaching them with grace.


The over-talker

These people always have plenty to say, and love to be the first person to say it. 

Remind everyone in the group guidelines that this is an equal participation group. If you have 10 people in the group, you want each person to contribute to 10% to the discussion.

If the problem continues, talk to them outside of group. Affirm their contribution to the conversation and enlist their help in getting some of the other people in the group to open up and share. Sometimes you may want to ask them to commit to not being the first person to answer a question—or to even work out a subtle signal you can give when they are talking too much.

The non-talker 

These people are quiet and never want to share. If you think that doing so won't scare them off even more—that a little prompting is needed—try calling on them periodically to share an answer. Also, be sure to affirm big time when they do respond.

If that doesn't work, talk to non-talkers outside of group. Again, affirm them in what they do contribute, and let them know that you want more people to get to hear their perspective. Remind them how valuable all of the different perspectives are to the entire group.

The tangent-starter 

These people love to get the group way off track by starting random tangents and rabbit trails. First of all, don't get upset at the tangents, and feel free to go off on them once in a while. When the time comes, firmly bring the group back on track.

If the problem becomes excessive, talk to tangent-starters outside of group. Affirm them in what they do contribute and convey the challenge the tangents create as you are trying to facilitate a good group and focus on certain points each week. Ask the person how they can help you keep the group on track.

The insensitive person

These individuals give advice, make fun of answers and people, cut people off, or do other things to offend members within the group. These people are dangerous to the health of your group! They can keep it from being a safe group more quickly than anything else. 

So, remind everyone of the group guidelines again, and definitely have the one-on-one conversation outside of group to let insensitive people know how important a safe group is, and what they can do to help make that happen.

And remember: the end goal of a group discussion is life change, not perfect discussions or getting through all the material. So stay open to the Holy Spirit during each group meeting and follow where he leads. Some of the most memorable group meetings occur when the leader is willing to scrap the plan for the night and address a specific need or do something fun and spontaneous.

It's also important to spend some time in prayer before each group meeting. Ask that God would lead the discussion where he wants it to go. And get an apprentice who can help you facilitate, so that you don't have to go it alone.

Remember that God is the one who does the work in people's hearts—we are not responsible for it. We are simply creating an environment for community and life change to happen.


Welcoming New People

Have you ever tried to join a club, team, or group where the other members already knew each other well? You probably found it tough to break in. It can be uncomfortable and intimidating. This can be the same experience when someone joins an existing home group.

Whether someone comes into the group through invitation from a friend or by a church referral, it can be scary to join an existing group. But there are things you can do to help guests feel welcome and to ease their integration into the group. Essentially, you want to create an environment where all group members feel valued as they seek to participate in community together. 

Prepare Your Existing Group

Before anyone joins your group, discuss it with all members and give people a chance to voice any concerns they might have. Then you can address the discomforts or fears that arise and better prepare them for the changes that will come with new people. For example, you can take some time to celebrate what God has done in the group, affirm the established relationships, and explain why adding new people is the next step for the group. When new people are added without the group’s consent or knowledge, it violates trust with members and creates an awkward transition for guests. So try to get buy-in for the idea of adding new people.

 

Serve as a Travel Guide

Ideally, you'll want to briefly meet the potential members in advance and get to know them a little. Perhaps you can connect after a church service. If you're unable to meet in person, at least give them a call. Introduce yourself, give a general description about your group, express excitement about their visit, and offer directions to the group.

Remember that newcomers have no clue about your group’s culture or customs. Let them know about your meeting structure, snack choices, and childcare. You may also want to let them know about other things, too, like the presence of pets (in case they are allergic) or details about parking if you're gathering at an apartment without a clear place to park. It helps to function as a local tour guide, staying nearby through the process, giving necessary information and facilitating their connection with others in the group.

Practice Hospitality 

Like any good host, greet the new people warmly by name as soon as they enter and introduce them to others in the group. Hopefully you know something about the newcomers based on your earlier interaction so you can help create connections with existing members. Identify common interests with a few people in the group so they can connect with members on shared topics and interests. Include them in the conversations by asking questions, giving brief background information on members, or explaining inside jokes.

Act Natural

When someone new comes to group, it can feel a bit like a first date with everyone putting on their best face. This makes the experience awkward and unnatural. Instead, simply acknowledge newcomers and give them a chance to share a bit about themselves. You may also ask members to briefly introduce themselves. However, don’t focus too much attention on the guests, which would likely make them feel uncomfortable. An icebreaker creates a safe way to share and to get to know one another. 

Run the meeting the way you usually do so that newcomers have a good idea of what to expect if they return. For example, try to share at a level of vulnerability that members would regularly demonstrate. It is tempting to stay superficial because there are new people present, but this isn't beneficial for anyone. It can be helpful to let newcomers know about the expectation of confidentiality. Perhaps say something like, “Our group is committed to keeping our sharing times confidential, so we'd ask you do the same. Of course, anything you share will be held in confidence as well." This sets up clear, appropriate expectations and invites new and old group members to share openly.

Follow Up

After the meeting, connect with the newcomers, thanking them for coming. Give them an opportunity to share observations and ask questions. The purpose of this follow up is not to do a hard sell of the group; rather, spend time answering their questions and getting their feedback. Let them know that you'd love for them to return, but don't push. People are much more likely to return when they know they are wanted and accepted. You might also consider inviting them for coffee to start forging a friendship outside of the group. When people sense a genuine interest in building relationships, rather than just an invitation to a meeting, they are much more likely to return and relationally invest in the group. 

Suggest Ways to Contribute 

After newcomers have participated in a few meetings, find out what their passions and gifts are so that you can suggest ways they can contribute to the group. Getting them engaged and invested early helps them to stick with the group. For example, one woman I know had a negative experience at her first visit to a small group, but when the leader asked her to bring snacks the next time, she was excited to have a way to contribute. At the next meeting she had a much better experience. She eventually became a committed member of the group, and she was glad that she had stuck it out. Making a simple contribution brought about a sense of ownership and belonging. 

Adding people into an existing group will always introduce an unknown element to which the whole group will need to adjust. In some ways, integrating new people into an existing group is like crafting a patchwork quilt. Although it can take much effort and time to stitch new pieces into an existing fabric, it can create a beautiful new design, texture, and pattern.


Strategic forward thinking of a Home Group leader  

Wouldn’t it be a great vision to have that in two years’ time someone in your group will be equipped to lead a home group themselves, and will have in their mind the evenings they have enjoyed with you, the care they have received from you, the enthusiasm and passion that they have seen in you.

One of the goals of a Home Group leader is to be preparing for growth.  So the final thing I want to look at is how we can raise up leaders and multiply our home groups.

There is no set type of a leaders: extraverted, introverted, intellectual - practical, creative, scientific…. And often they don’t always know they have this potential themselves.

Like Moses, they think they’re inadequate or don’t understand the nature of leadership. They voice their objection, ‘who me, you’ve got to be kidding!  I don’t have the skills, are you sure there is not someone better suited’.  But we know God doesn’t always choose the obvious candidate to lead.

What should we look for in a Home Group Leader? 

What fires their rocket

People suited to leadership love God, people, truth and the church.  When I was a youth leader I would always seek out new leaders who were great role models, not just those that could relate well with youth, but had a passion for Jesus.  If their heart were in the right place, then I would seriously consider them as a leader, because that is the most crucial part to look for.  Everything else can be learnt.

The great leaders in the Bible had their heart in the right place.

King David was a skilled musician, commanded vast armies and ruled over the people of Israel, but his heart was not in his own accomplishments, but for the Lord. 

Psalm 27: 4 - One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.

There are many reasons that motivate people into leadership roles, but there is only one thing that should take priority, ‘to gaze on the beauty of the Lord’.

The example they set

What do other people think about them? Do they get on well with the group, what is their life like outside of home group?  I have taken on leaders before that looked good, said the right thing, but outside of church things were very different.

We are not looking for perfection, but genuine followers of Jesus who are the same at church on a Sunday as they are at work on a Monday. Like sticks of Brighton Rock, that no matter where you cut into them, they look the same throughout. 

Don’t be tempted to put someone in a position of leadership about whom you don’t believe this to be true.  It is very difficult to get rid of a bad leader.

Being committed members of the church

Are they committed members of the church, respect the leadership within the church and wanting to grow in their faith?  We don’t have to agree with everything the church does, but we are required to be ambassadors for the church and supporting the work that is being done.

Those who take on a leadership role need to be core members of the church.  This means they are invested in HT in prayer, regular attendance, finances, and service.  When people are truly committed in these areas it often means they believe in the work being done and want to be part of this community.

Home Group leaders are expected to look out for those with these qualities and to start investing into them.  So maybe ask yourself, ‘If you couldn’t be at your Home Group who would you leave in charge?’

When we have identified a person, how do we equip them?

  • Encourage them to see the gifts of leadership that they already have

  • Explain the role of a leader, don’t assume they know what you do

  • How to lead a discussion – go through the points we have covered

  • Guiding a prayer time

  • Promoting safety in the group

  • Building a team

  • Giving them opportunities to lead the session

  • Provide tools and resources

The purpose of our groups is to grow (spiritually and numerically) and one day multiply.  There are a number of ways this can happen:  However, the easiest way will be:

New Leader Launch

Your newly trained up leader takes 3 to 5 people from the original group to start a new group. This is one of the easiest ways to multiply a group for the new leader and the original group. The main reasons for this type of multiplication is a new competent leader is ready to lead with people who are ready to follow.

Organic Multiplication

New leader and original leader each lead groups by multiplying the original group evenly.  The main reasons for this type of multiplication is a large growing group with a new competent leader ready to lead.

  • Note: An example of this would be a group with 16 people. The new leader takes 8 and the original leaders takes 8. This is also a very effective way to multiply and start new groups.

It is important to get the idea of multiplication into the culture of the group.  It is not something to be threatened of but embraced.  Groups that resist growth and multiplication can often become too safe and inward looking.  The Christian faith encourages us to multiply, to always be open to the joy of welcoming new members to its community.  Lets us be open to that.

And finally,…Please be aware that we best encourage Home Group members to consider training for leadership if we ourselves model leadership in the healthiest and most attractive way. Each of us is hopefully the best advertisement for what it is to be a Home Group leader at Holy Trinity.

Therefore, ensure that you remain as fresh as possible within what can be a demanding role in church life. Seek to model healthy leadership by distributing responsibilities to all your members.

Hopefully these notes will also emphasize the importance for you of remaining steeped in the Word and Spirit, praying for your own leadership, receiving the prayers of your Pastorate Leaders, and making any changes in your Home Group required to affirm attractive and healthy leadership.

Jesus taught as if leadership was something that not only benefitted the extension of the kingdom but that was spiritually beneficial to the leader. If you are feeling tired or discouraged in your leadership, please do ask for further help and support from your Pastorate Leaders. 

We are so grateful for the role our Home Group leaders do at HT and welcome you to be part of this wonderful ministry.  

Rev Oli Benyon
Associate Vicar

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